Saturday, January 15, 2011

Forest cousins: tolerance & telephones

photo credit: Vanessa Woods, Bonobo Handshake

I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that a lot of people don't know about bonobos.  After all, when The Kid proposed to write a report about them in the 5th grade, which was now a long time ago, his teacher refused to believe there was such an animal, necessitating a phone call.  And when I mentioned this morning to a friend that I was reading a fascinating book about bonobos, she too had never heard of them.  

Probably not for long, though, since Sara Gruen, who wrote Water for Elephants, has a relatively new book out, Ape House, available in paperback in April 11.  

One of the many remarkable things about bonobos is that unlike chimps (and us, just by the way), they don't make war.  Instead, to resolve tension, settle disputes, generally get along, they have sex.  They are, as my Mammalogy teacher liked to refer to them, the Make-Love-Not-War ape.  They are matriarchal, perhaps not surprisingly.  They are critically endangered, not least of which because of our hunger for cell phones and other electronics that use coltan, a mineral ore found almost exclusively in the Congo.  Read more about bonobos at Friends of Bonobos and in Bonobo Handshake, a lovely book by Vanessa Woods which I couldn’t put down and just finished this afternoon.

One of my favorite passages in Bonobo Handshake comes right toward the end, and really sums up why these animals should be protected, for what we have to learn about them and what they can teach us about ourselves:

Six million years ago, our last common ancestor with apes split into three different lines, which would eventually become chimpanzees, bonobos, and us.  Along our journey, something extraordinary happened.  We grew big brains.  We tamed fire.  We started to talk.  But all that would have been for nothing if not for one simple thing – tolerance.

Tolerance is what allowed us to cooperate so flexibly.  Every one of our great accomplishments comes from sharing ideas, building on the thoughts and concepts of others. 

In our very first experiments, we found chimps could cooperate, but only after we controlled for tolerance.  Intelligence wasn’t the problem.  They were smart enough to know they needed help from someone else, but their emotions got in the way.  Somewhere during our evolution, human emotions changed so that even on a battlefield, two groups of enemy troops can come together to share simple gifts and songs. 

Of course, tolerance isn’t always something we excel at.  From the ear-temperature and picture studies, we know that chimps have an involuntary physiological reaction when they hear or see a stranger.  To a certain extent, we have the same reaction.  Even as babies, we prefer faces we recognize to those of strangers.  As we grow older, we tend to have negative reactions to people we identify as “them” and not “us.”  …In the temperature studies, we found that bonobos do not have a negative response to strangers.  They don’t seem to care whether someone is part of “us” or one of “them.”

So if bonobos are more tolerant in some ways than humans, why did they never develop our level of intelligence?  …Why aren’t bonobos ruling the world?

The answer is, they don’t need to.  …Bonobos have enough food.  They don’t hunt each other like chimpanzees.  The females are safe.  Babies aren’t killed by their own kind.  Why would they want to change anything?

  Most of the time, bonobos have no hunger, no violence, no poverty.  And for all our intelligence, our things, bonobos have the most important of all possessions – peace.

And that is why bonobos are important.  Because they hold the key to a world without war. …  If we lose bonobos, we will never learn their secret.

Feeling very grateful to the amazing people I “met” in Bonobo Handshake, doing such great work to protect these animals, our forest cousins.  We great apes have so much potential for good, for altruism.  Tolerance is the key.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Bali-happy!

photo credit: sparselysageandtimely.com
Maybe this is my recompense for two hard years in a row, but damn it, 2011 is pretty much blowing my mind regularly.  So much great stuff has happened -- 12 whole days of AWESOME now, with no sign of let-up.  I could get used to this!

Yesterday the full force of the changes I've made really started to hit home.  I was already feeling pretty delighted that my orientation to new job included a field trip to our Indian Valley Organic Farm, smack-dab in the middle of the afternoon.  I stopped at home on the way for lunch and a change of get-up, to find that textbooks for Herpetology had been delivered -- so exciting to be able to get started on the reading early, plus I'm so eager to learn it all.  The Farm is gorgeous and so inspiring, in the most idyllic setting.  And then, if that weren't enough, I was treated to the sight of a bobcat first at a long distance, its distinctive shape and very cat-like walk emerging from the brush at the bottom of the Farm, then as we waited, quiet, entranced, it made its way up the fireroad right across from where we stood, pounced on something in the grass, missed, walked on, pausing to give us a long look though the fence.  Sheer fall-on-your-knees delight!

From that hour and a half interlude at the Farm, it was back to the office for an hour or so of work, then to Trixie's for the yoga pick-up, then to Laura's class, featuring live music by Todd Boston.  It was so great to see so many I know and love there, especially the special treat of Chrissy Graham, of whom I can never get enough.  

All around, just an amazing day.

And, throughout, I am amazed at the pace of my new life.  There is just so much more space in everything, between everything.  I am happy at my desk and in my work, happy learning new skills and a new business, happy to be home at 5:10 if I leave at 5.  Seeing the bobcat yesterday was icing on the cake, super-tasty affirmation that I made the right move.

This new slower tempo, this daily proximity to home and hubsand, came at a price, one I'll feel when I get my first paycheck.  But I just know it was the right thing for me.  And every day seems to bring with it more solid proof of how right was my decision to make this big change.  I'm happy on a daily basis in the same way I was happy in Bali, which seems funny, right, since daily life is a far cry from vacation life.  But I'm realizing that maybe the gap doesn't have to be so wide, that I can experience this spaciousness all the time, just by slowing down, stepping back, being a part of something that really, really matters to me.

Really, I'm Bali-happy and that's saying a lot, at ease in my skin, open, curious, learning. Long may it last!  

Friday, January 7, 2011

Six whole days of AWESOME so far

Big Change #1 of the year so far -- the new job -- is going great. As mentioned before, I did have two spates of boredom in the first few days, but that's in the past. There is something so utterly delightful about having nothing to do but numbers. Really, I know this is weird for the non-numbers folk, but man, how great to have a scope that requires that I spend hours with the calm simplicity of cash flow, balance statement and profit & loss. Ahhh, sweet peace of the numerical!

I've been feeling physically great -- with a big let-up of the stress I've been carrying for months and perhaps years. I'm sleeping unassisted, and enjoyed a day earlier this week during which I had absolutely no head pain at all. Fantastic! I am still adjusting to wearing glasses, though, which is weird. Sometimes they bother me so much, but generally they're on my face giving me a black-framed view of the world.

This morning I've been indulging in my favorite morning pastime of just following my train of thought around the interwebz, reading the paper, linking out to read in more depth about some phenomenon referred to in an article, finding little treasures and caching them for later, after work, when I have more time.

This morning's starting-point was a piece in the Marin IJ about yarnbombing on 4th Street in San Rafael, in front of the Dharma Trading company. That's a yarnbombed bike rack at left -- so pretty!   I'd heard of this phenom before, but am taking more time with it this morning, jumping from entertaining blog to entertaining blog.  It's so great how many forms of expression we have, how many avenues to be funny, creative, thoughtful and bold!

Naturally this is not new -- is there anything new under the sun? -- but it's lighting up the still dark morning for me.  And also naturally, there's a book!

For me, it's the the little things that support each day being AWESOME, having this time to wander quietly in the morning, to come across evidence of how fantastic and funny we people can be, how remarkable the world is.  Hard to have a bad attitude or bad day starting from this point, eyes laughing, delighted at the sight of guerilla knitting.


Resources, in case you'd like to wander where I wandered:



Thursday, January 6, 2011

Escaping the bonds of memory

This was exactly one year ago today -- Joe and beloved Nurse Susan Jones taken on the occasion of Chemo #6 and Final.  Look how funny and sick my sweetheart looks, pobrecito.  He got through that whole ordeal with so much grace and strength.  I'm not surprised, really, having known him as long as I have that that's how he would get through the experience.  But still, he's pretty amazing, all in all.

So I'm thinking this morning about how held I am in memories, how much I date things.

I am hoping that as we pass the 365-day mark, this terrible event in our lives will cease to have such a strong grip on us.  With every passing anniversary, let it drift into the past and loose its hold on us both.

Such an amazing creature, that Joe!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Settling, settling, into a new routine


One of my strongest wishes for the year is to find myself comfortably enmeshed in a routine, in some comfortable regularity of schedule.  I don't think I felt this feeling for all of last year -- in some ways probably a post-cancer phenomenon of not knowing quite what to do with myself without the tight corset of chemo every three weeks and caring for Joe in between.  That diminishment of focus was so powerful, that once the need for it was removed, I think I kind of floundered around, regaling in freedom from it, flying after everything that was not It.  [I am enjoying that last sentence with its fishy-, then birdy-ness.]  But now, after a year of that flying flounder, I am craving the feeling of feet on the ground.

The image of the falling leaf feels right, though of course, seasonally-speaking, it's all wrong; I think I'm catching up on the seasons, in a funny way.  Autumn did pass in a blur for me, in my concerted work to plot my next move, to change my job.  And then the frenzy of labor I was in from mid-November through the end of last week -- phew, it's no wonder I feel like I missed entire months.

Now, with less to do, I'm experiencing the free-fall a bit.  I had moments yesterday and Monday afternoon, at work in my new office, of feeling bored.  Bored.  A bored sleepiness coming over me, afternoon doldrums, the product of not having enough to do.  I had to keep reminding myself that this is how it can be when you start a new job, that the new people don't want to scare you or overtax you so they mete out the information on some feeding schedule appropriate to that culture.  It will change, naturally.  This time of not having enough to do or read or think about will vanish, never to return, so I'm experiencing it as a novelty and appreciating its fleetingness, as I continue to fall through it, to the waiting ground below.

Part of the free-fall is the stress de-tox.  I have had three nights running of falling into bed, dead, at 9am, sleeping, dead, all night, and awakening a little less bleary every day.  This morning I feel pretty great, positive, ready to go, not filled with dread as I have been most week-day mornings for years.  That's good.  The particularly painful spot in my left cheek where I carry a lot of stress is relaxing more each day, so I obsess less and less about the notion that really, it's some kind of tumor.  It's not, it's a stress ball, a different kind of tumor, one I'm disappearing with sleep and peacefulness.

So, about that routine...  It will evolve.  Right now, I'm enjoying the settling and letting it be slow.  It's amazing to go from home to job in the morning in 15 minutes.  It's amazing to be able to walk to lunch with Joe.  It's amazing to leave work at 5, have time to stop by the pet store and the grocery store, and still be home by 5:45.

The falling is part of the landing, right, leads to the landing, so I'm enjoying it while it delivers me ever-downward, gently, to the ground.  Oh how wonderful to let go and fall, full trust in what lies below.

Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year, New Day, New Job!

In the long tradition of taking photos of LT on the front step on his first day of school, we swapped roles and here's me, just a little excited about starting my new job today finally, finally, finally.

Wahoo, and it's gorgeous out -- cold and dazzling.  The fence is steaming in the bright light, birds are hopping about.  It seems like the perfect day for a new beginning, shiny and washed clean.  Absolutely perfect.

Leaving now to start the new adventure.  Oh, hip hip hooray!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy 2011!

Happy, happy New Year!

Rainy first morning of 2011, pancakes and coffee, leisuring around before heading to New Year's Day class with Trixie in tow -- oh, frabjous, frabjous day!  After which I will hang about with the kula at our beloved Cibo, then return home for New Year's Ritual #1, the shelving of all of 2010's reads.  Could it get more frabjous?

At left, only the partial stack since the tiny shelf these are balanced on couldn't take the additional weight of books eaten after the Lethem.  Their brethren are stacked elsewhere, waiting for this day, on which I can lovingly take in their physical form as I  put them, in their assigned places, by category and/or alphabet.

Above them a gorgeous drawing executed by The Kid, one of his favorites, which makes it all the more special to me that he gifted it to me for my last birthday.  Beautiful.

I did "better" in 2010 than in 2009 or 2008, in terms of the number of books read.  I had wanted to break 30 in 2009, fell short with 29.  This year, wahoo, got all the way to 35, after excluding 5 books I started and didn't finish.  Counting them would be cheating.  In all, a fair number of yoga-related titles, memoir, non-fiction and animals, a little poetry, and some utterly delectable fiction.

And to think that as I write this, more books are making their way to me, courtesy of the used selection available on Amazon.com, to make a bold start for 2011.  YAY!

Here's wishing everyone a beautiful new year, filled with adventure on the page and elsewhere!
XXXXXX


2010 Books!
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot
Shop Girl, Steve Martin
In a Strange Room, Damon Galgut
Room, Emma Donoghue
Parrot & Olivier in America, Peter Carey
Chronic City, Jonathan Lethem
The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
The Children's Book, A.S. Byatt
Shackleton's Stowaway, Victoria McKernan
Tinkers, Paul Harding
Part of the Pride: My Life Among the Big Cats of Africa, Kevin Richardson
Invisible, Paul Auster
The Year of the Flood, Margaret Atwood
Lit, Mary Karr
Brooklyn, Tolm Coibin
To Have Not, Frances Lefkowitz
Born Standing Up, Steve Martin
Zeitoun, Dave Eggers
The Outlander, Gil Adamson
Little Bee, Chris Cleave
The Invention of Hugo Cabret, Brian Selznick
Cutting for Stone, Abraham Verghese
Spell of the Tiger: The Man-Eaters of the Sundarbans, Sy Montgomery
The Yoga of Discipline, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
Sadhana of the Heart, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda
The Weight of Heaven, Thrity Umrigar
Let the Great World Spin, Colum McCann
Away, Amy Bloom
Mary Queen of Scots, Antonia Fraser
The Children of Henry VIII, Alison Weir
Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel
Why I Wake Early, Mary Oliver
Sea of Poppies, Amitav Ghosh