Friday, July 2, 2010

Days without Incident: -5

I'm going on Day 5 of this migraine.  As I started writing this morning and got to thinking about how blog posts are always more attractive when they have pictures, the image that came to mind as appropriate for this particular subject was lightning, as at left -- big, sharp, dramatic, multiple.  [For more insane photos of lightning, check out lightningsmiths.com.  So cool and crazy!]

This migraine has been with me since Monday night, just before I picked up re-fills.  I've been dosing and trying to stay ahead of the pain ever since.  I thought perhaps I had it kicked last night, but no, the jabbing behind my left eye was my first sensation this morning.  Boo.  So not my favorite.

Migraines always make me think about my choices, about the Why.  I don't blame myself for them, which I used to do, although of course I am aware that if I were perhaps a bit more hydrated and a bit better slept, I might escape them.  I might.

As I move through my day, tending to the regular tasks despite the migraine, it entertains me to consider the headache from the perspective of the mahābhūtas, the five elements (space, earth, water, fire and air), which were the theme of classes with Laura in May.   If I am a little microcosm, containing all of the elements within my tiny elegant form [Sing it with me: "I'm a little microcosm, short and stout...."], then really it does make sense for me to undergo these periodic climatic events.  Somehow that's comforting.

The migraines definitely represent a collision between my desires and my physical capacity, are my brain's way of communicating that its needs for stasis, for rest, for water are being unmet.  Sorry, cerebellum!

How sweet it would be to take the opportunity of this skull-crusher to stay home and stare at the hydrangea in the garden which, right now, as the 8am sun hits it, is the most dazzling shade of deep pink.  How nice it would be to be still, not talk, not work, just repose in the quiet of this summer morning.  It would be nice to give in to the demands of my cranium and sit my ass down.

It would.

But with 7 1/2 work-days to go before Bali, Brain is just going to have to deal.  Can't stop now.  Rest is coming but for now it's back to the grindstone, no matter what.  Even if it's stormy inside, the show must go on.

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