tapasya, aka lighting a fire under your own ass

This week's practices with Laura have been about tapasya, the element of fire, as in the fire that motivates you to do stuff.  We were encouraged in class to stoke our inner fire and to maintain it at a sustainable level -- after all, the fire shouldn't be so hot that we burn out, right?  I admit that Tuesday night's class with this theme was a bit of struggle for me -- I had difficulty in some poses, felt frustrated, disconnected in a weird way.  Not so fun.  But the great thing about the theme sticking around for a week is that I had another chance this morning to hear it, feel it, do it.  Yes!

And boy, did I ever need to hear it, feel it and do it.

The thing about tapasya is that it really and truly is the fire that you light under your own ass, the fire to get things done, to stick to it.

I've been having a hard time with stick-to-it-iveness lately. I got better for a while, was writing more consistently, taking care of myself, clear in my goals on a daily basis.  It's been a little murky for a bit now, but I remind myself that that probably has a LOT to do with opening my heart and home to Mr. Burns, canine love of my life, to the sleeplessness, to the re-learning how to fit everything in.

Gone are the days when I can just sit and write in the morning before work, in that time that used to be taken up with hiking and running with Jasper.  Now I have Mr Burns to think of, thankfully, getting him out to walk, keeping an eye on him every single second, unless he's asleep.  Right now as I write this, he's cozy in a sunlit patch of concrete, having learned that the only thing better than one pine cone is two pine cones.  He has a collection between his feet and lays there, gorgeous, in this beautiful morning.

Anyway, I've been crap when it comes to consistency lately, for which I can make ample excuses, devise rationalizations.  But no matter what -- even if I just realized that I've been forgetting to take my iron supplements again, which def contributes to a general fuzziness and inability to stay on clear course -- I know I am happier when I'm focused, when I'm on a schedule, when I'm ticking things off my little list.

Thanks to the beauties at Siren Salon for this.  LOVE!

I started a writing course with my sister on Monday, and we both pledged, along with our classmates, to write every single day.  Uh, I haven't been doing my homework, which is so lame since I LOVE homework and really only want to write all day long.

Shoot.

So, the tapasya message came through loud and clear this morning, especially in hanumanasana with arms extended.  Yes to stoking that fire that keeps me going.  Yes to taking my supplements, dang it.  Yes to finding a way to fit everything in, to make sure the puppy is walked and the blog is written and the yoga is practiced.  It's a lot, but what ever else is the purpose of being here, you know?

If we learned anything this week from the daily barrage of Jobs-isms, it's that we should do what we love, love what we do.  So I'm on it.  Swallowing my supplements, then going for a walk with puppy, to take in this gorgeous day and feel the heat, inside and out.

XX