Sunday, November 7, 2010
Putting things in their places
I've done a few Google searches, trying to figure out how to dispose of them. Used to be we could have just taken them back to Kaiser and they'd get rid of them, but no longer. Apparently there's a pharmacy in San Anselmo that takes back unused prescription drugs, but the thought of driving there and finding out they no longer do it, has put me off. But now here's the perfect solution.
For $4.95, the prepaid TakeAway envelope means we can drop these poisons in the US mail and be done with them. Awesome. On the other end, the pills will be inspected, then incinerated. Which is better than them finding their way into our water or into some unsuspecting fool's mouth. And certainly better than them sitting there as a reminder of a super-painful time.
As I was piling the pills into the envelope and remembering that whole interlude of misery, I realized that DUH, if my vata is deranged, if I don't have a routine anymore, it's because my old routine got blown up, completely obliterated, as did Joe's, by lymphoma, and supplanted by the routine of fear and chemo for 6 months, from which we have still not, it appears, completely recovered. Amazing that I could lose sight of this -- sometimes I am such an idiot, it surprises even my idiot self! We are still trying to get our footing, still feeling at a loss even as we make gentle progress toward taking back the full territory of our lives.
Getting rid of these pills, sending them to their fiery hell, is such a relief. It really is a way of marking the end of that time, erasing the remaining traces from our surroundings. From here, we can keep going, a little more space freed from the cancer and reclaimed.