Friday, June 10, 2011

Ugh: injury...

Since Wednesday night, the moment I got out of the car after a really great yoga class, my low back has been bothering me.  More on the left side than the right.  It was a dull twinge Wednesday night, metamorphosed into a  worse ache yesterday, and is still with me today.  Damn it.  I've been swallowing ibuprofen and stuffing down my fear that I've done something grievous to myself, like the time I herniated a disc in 1998.  No, no, no, no, no, not that!

I stayed home yesterday, largely because I was in pain but also because I needed to finish (start and finish) our taxes, something I've been putting off for ages.  I can't do that kind of work in the evenings or on the weekends, as it turns out.  I need the evening and weekends for FUN, so I've come to accept that as long as I never get really seriously sick, those sick days really have to be used for escape into deeper work on our life and business, deeper work, in yesterday's case, like taxes.

In truth, I went back to bed first thing yesterday morning, with Jonathan Franzen's Freedom.  I only had about 200 pages to go, so I remained prone until 1:15 when I could finally close the book, after the final page and emerge blinking into a gorgeous sunny day.

One pass around the garden, then I was in my desk chair and 5 hours later, done with the taxes.

But too long in a chair.

And this morning, not feeling much improvement, just a general skeletal unhappiness around the left side of my sacrum.

Which means I have been working the principles like mad.  Did a little practice -- seriously, tiny -- working around the fragility in my back, knees bent, pulling to the midline like there's no tomorrow, but still feeling that spazzy feeling in my back.  Ugh, hate it.

So that's me today.  A fraction of my usual self, aware with every step, motion, breath that something is not physically right.  Taking it easy, going gently, and reminding myself constantly that the boundary is there for me to use, if I can just stay patient and calm enough not to throw shoes at it.


Stefanie said...

Ariane - I know we come from different yoga traditions and that the Anusara principles can heal your back. I suffered and injury lifting my old dog out of the car and have an ongoing issue with my left side sacrum as a result. I have had a variety of kinds of pain and had to relearn how to work with my back. My teacher has given me a lot of stuff to help with my back that I have used for myself as well as my students. I have a few sequences I could send you if you were at all interested.

Keep hugging the mid-line. In many nutty ways, my back injury has been my greatest teacher about the parts of my body that under and overuse. It has been a catalyst to rearchitect my practice and find freedom and space in different ways.


Janna said...

How did you feel after tonight's class! Hope you are doing better! xox

Ariane said...

Hey Stefanie and Janna - Thanks so much for commenting! It's true how great a teacher this limitation can be. I think it was a powerful reminder to stay in the center, pull in more and more effectively, be super-discerning in what I'm using, what I'm not, what I'm choosing, what I'm not. And this morning I feel a LOT better. Janna: class was perfect for me yesterday. I emerged walking straighter and with more ease, and really and truly, this morning I feel SO much better than the last two days. Nope, not a miracle: yoga!