Yesterday was a hard day. Joe was feeling crappy. I lost my patience. We followed through on our plan to visit Muir Woods and being in those big trees was beautiful, but the whole day just felt lousy. The walk along the boardwalk was super uncomfortable for Joe. I was down all day, too. Sometimes the fog of cancer is just suffocating and it's hard to find a way out.
Last night we slept really well (thank you, Ativan and Ambien!), and Joe woke up feeling almost normal, except for a rib that's bothering him, an injury sustained while sweeping the walkway. Yes, while sweeping the walkway. He went out on a mellow team ride this morning and stuck all the way through. Blessings on Trixie and Josh who came over after yoga with pastries, which turned into lunch, which turned into a ramble in the hills, which turned into ice cream eating and many more laughs, which turned into plan-making for future fun. Joe just left for the store to buy ingredients for home-made ice cream and is feeling great.
So I'm asking for many more days like this one - only a little pain and discomfort, but mostly activity and fun and friends. Cancer or no, more days like this are what make life sweet, are how I wish I spent so much more of my time. This afternoon, looking around the table at Laurent and Trixie and Josh and Joe, and at Jasper off rolling in the grass, everyone glowing in the already-softer October sun, really all I could think, my over and over mantra, was just Yes, More Just Like This. More, please.